From the Desk of:

Dear Love Lost,

Well, you certainly present a conundrum, now don't you? Well, it's a conundrum to normal people, but to me your problem is very simple. What you need to do is act like the Baby Girl you are (I'm assuming you're a baby girl. If you're not a baby girl you really should look into becoming a baby girl. Yes. You should.). You need to embrace your inner princess and let the world know exactly how gorgeous you really are. I do this every day. Of course, it's easy for me because I really am gorgeous. Yes. I really am. For you it might be harder because I'm assuming you're not all that gorgeous. Otherwise, you'd have yourself a lover by now.

Then again, you can always do what my brother Racky does: run to the basement and hump your bed.

Your choice!

Signed,
Loretta the Baby Girl

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