Ask Loretta: Desperate for Love

Dear Loretta,

I’m desperate to find love, but I’m tired of the dating scene. I’m close to giving up hope. What should I do?

Love Lost

Dear Love Lost,

The Baby GirlWell, you certainly present a conundrum, now don’t you? Well, it’s a conundrum to normal people, but to me your problem is very simple. What you need to do is act like the Baby Girl you are (I’m assuming you’re a baby girl. If you’re not a baby girl you really should look into becoming a baby girl. Yes. You should.). You need to embrace your inner princess and let the world know exactly how gorgeous you really are. I do this every day. Of course, it’s easy for me because I really am gorgeous. Yes. I really am. For you it might be harder because I’m assuming you’re not all that gorgeous. Otherwise, you’d have yourself a lover by now.

Then again, you can always do what my brother Racky does: run to the basement and hump your bed.

Your choice!

Loretta the Baby Girl

Author: Loretta

Loretta the Bulldog is one of the most wonderful Bulldogs in the world. Her owners love her dearly and they will treasure the memories she made for them always. Loretta started publishing on when she felt that more people needed to hear the voice of a bulldog with great advice. She has been publishing ever since trying to give readers her great advice. Loretta enjoys sitting on her brother Racky's head, boxes and dog treats. She sincerely hopes that you will enjoy!