I have recently met a man I am interested in. It seems that my
interest is reciprocated. However, it also seems that he is more
comfortable than I am with the interval between our meetings. What’s a
girl to do?
Unsure in MD
P.S. Please bear in mind that I was raised at a time when the mores of society dictated that it was a “No No” to even call a young man and now it seems that there are few if any “No Nos.” No wonder I am confused.
Dear Unsure in MD,
First, I feel compelled to tell you that post-scripted guidelines/suggestions/et al will not influence my advice. I will not be swayed by your suggestion that I tell you what you want to hear, that you should go ahead and call if you feel like it, and that previously learned social “mores” should be damned. A Baby Girl will not be influenced by a thinly veiled suggestion in the postscript.
Shame on you.
Now, as to your question, the answer, as always, is simple. When
interest is reciprocated it is also OBVIOUS. That’s right, if
you have to think about it, worry about it, plot, plan, strategize,
send passive-aggressive “clever” emails inquiring as to the reason for
the interval between meetings, or try to appear breezy, you are in
Take me, for example. Do you think I have to wonder if my dad will
hold me like a baby, rub my belly, and tell me repeatedly how gorgeous
I am? Do you think my pug brother ever pauses to ponder if I will be
sitting on his head, pushing him off my mom’s lap and stealing his
toys? Of course not! We do not need to spend time wondering about
these things because these things just are.
Now, I can imagine that it may, at times, be “fun” or at least serve
as an interesting diversion and distraction to focus one’s energies on
“figuring out” that which is already clear. Pug brothers, for example,
often appear to devote time to thinking about the possibility that
dinner will be served earlier in the day even though it is always
served at 3 p.m. If this sorty of triviality is something you wish to
engage in, feel free.
Ultimately, when you find that romantic interest is reciprocated (and
not just that it “seems” to be) and when both of you want only short
intervals between meetings, and when all of the questioning, plotting,
planning, and pondering are unncessary because the two of you being
together is so obvious … only then will you be Sure in MD.