Summer, a season that lots of people look forward to. The days are warmer and longer, there is no school for the kids, or sometimes work for the grown ups, and tons of fun in the sun at the beach or pound. You may find it a surprise that I do not at all look forward to summer. You must be thinking that’s crazy! What are you talking about, summer is the best! Well I think you will come to understand why I do not take pleasure in summer once I explain myself. Summer for a dog like me is no fun at all.
The first reason I don’t like summer is in the day it can be very, very hot for a bulldog like me. Don’t get me wrong, being a bulldog is the best. We’re beautiful, intelligent, and did I mention beautiful? But being a bulldog in the summer is no walk in the park. Our faces are smushed so it is a lot harder for us to breathe in the first place, but add a 90-degree day to the picture and it’s nearly impossible! Also imagine putting on your heavy winter jacket and lying in the summer sun. Get the picture? Hot summer days are not exactly my idea of a fun day unless the kiddie pool is out in the backyard and I can splash around in it.
The second reason I despise summer is a simple word, “vacation”! Why don’t I like vacation, you ask. While it’s not that kind of vacation where you go to the beach or stay in a hotel and do something fun. The kind of vacation I’m talking about is SUMMER VACATION! Which means the two annoying kids in my family, Boy human — whom I call Food Face Screamer Boy; I call him this because, well he has a knack for getting food all over his face and he likes to scream — and Girl human — whom I call Hissy cat girl; I call her that because Food Face Screamer Boy often gets on her nerves and then she hisses at him; she will also do this to anyone in her family who did something to make her mad and then stomp up to her room; I call her “cat” because she doesn’t like to be with other humans that much, just like how cats are; being a social pack animal I don’t understand this much but whatever floats her boat I guess — are home all summer long to harass me! Thats around two whole months I have to deal with them hugging, kissing, and screaming random things in my ears. I shudder at just the thought!
Anyway, I always look forward to when Food Face Screamer Boy and Hissy Cat Girl going back to school in the fall. I have peace and quiet for a full six hours of the day. Ahhhhh. I can’t wait.
The third reason I don’t like summer is that dogs, or any pets, are never allowed at all the fun places humans go to! Instead we are put in the kennel for a week while the humans get to go live it up in Disney World! Who says a dog wouldn’t enjoy a day in Epcot or a ride on Space Mountain! Seriously! No one ever even thought about making a special place where dogs could go to have summer fun like humans! For dogs, summer is just a hot time to stay at the kennel while their humans go on vacation!
Now do you see where I’m coming from!? Do you see why summer absolutely sucks for dogs!? The heat, the kids being home all day, the not ever getting to go somewhere fun or on vacation like the humans do! Summer for you might mean rollercoasters and ice cream and good times but if you ask me I’d gladly take a cold winter day with no kids around where I can peacefully lie on the window sill over the radiator and watch the snow fall.